Practicing to Improve My Performance
'He built an altar there and named it after God, the God of Israel.' Genesis 33:20 (NCV)
Where is your faith? A year and a half ago a friend and I went on a search to find the answer to that question. It was a journey we were eager to begin. We were looking for answers. We were looking for more power in our prayer life. Appreciating the opportunity to grow while accepting the opposition that would inevitably arise by our change of focus we set a course of study on prayer and we prayed.
You see, I only wanted to improve my prayer life. In all things we do, I've been told, doing more of it makes us better at it. After a fifteen month search with unbelievable highs and lows I am finally beginning to find myself through prayer. I found myself by being able to find the words to describe the dark place where I once was. It was a long night. A lot of people showed up to save me during my search. By finding my voice, I found people just like me that love me and have my back and I owe them so much. My friendship with my prayer partner has grown stronger as well.
You know the back sliding story. That was me. The truth is, the search that brings you closer to God will also cost you something. For me, it has been a very difficult spiritual and personal pursuit that was worth every minute of it. While I was learning to pray I prayed and my prayers were answered. Just like when the team practices. A musician knows that practices are never like the real thing, but they get us ready for the performance. When I practice I develop better habits that lead to improved playing techniques and skills. All of my hours practicing was working. My prayers were being perfected with Holy Spirit and grace.
I never realized how close I was to dangerous godless territory. I never knew just how close to the edge I was or that I was about to lose my edge in life. Having been a believer for most of my life, I never even knew my faith was under attack. 'I'm just burnt out' and 'I am on a sabbatical' I would say. Not just my faith, but I was in a struggle with who I was in the faith as well. The things of the Spirit which I held dear were slipping away. The pain and the fear of the flesh was winning and only by struggling with my own weakness, was I able to find the Author of Faith. Jesus was there all along, waiting for me to come back to Him. He led me through the deep waters in the fight for my faith. He challenged my faith and tested my beliefs and took me through the fire. My losses were His gains! There was so much of me to lose and so much more of Him to gain. The Word, once again brought back more order into my life.
You never know where you will end up at times on a journey but one thing is for sure, you must first start. Through the process of trying to improve my prayer life, I found myself again. I made Him my own again. I made faith my own again. I built an altar in my heart for only Him. I have found the place where my hope lies and the blessings of life meant for me through Him and even more. I have found my peace. I found my voice. I found my first Love again. I found my purpose! I have been changed. Thankfully, because of Him, I am not the same person that I once was. This Easter season I intend to celebrate like never before, and live like I mean it, with new purpose and new life. He is risen!
Where is your faith? A year and a half ago a friend and I went on a search to find the answer to that question. It was a journey we were eager to begin. We were looking for answers. We were looking for more power in our prayer life. Appreciating the opportunity to grow while accepting the opposition that would inevitably arise by our change of focus we set a course of study on prayer and we prayed.
You see, I only wanted to improve my prayer life. In all things we do, I've been told, doing more of it makes us better at it. After a fifteen month search with unbelievable highs and lows I am finally beginning to find myself through prayer. I found myself by being able to find the words to describe the dark place where I once was. It was a long night. A lot of people showed up to save me during my search. By finding my voice, I found people just like me that love me and have my back and I owe them so much. My friendship with my prayer partner has grown stronger as well.
You know the back sliding story. That was me. The truth is, the search that brings you closer to God will also cost you something. For me, it has been a very difficult spiritual and personal pursuit that was worth every minute of it. While I was learning to pray I prayed and my prayers were answered. Just like when the team practices. A musician knows that practices are never like the real thing, but they get us ready for the performance. When I practice I develop better habits that lead to improved playing techniques and skills. All of my hours practicing was working. My prayers were being perfected with Holy Spirit and grace.
I never realized how close I was to dangerous godless territory. I never knew just how close to the edge I was or that I was about to lose my edge in life. Having been a believer for most of my life, I never even knew my faith was under attack. 'I'm just burnt out' and 'I am on a sabbatical' I would say. Not just my faith, but I was in a struggle with who I was in the faith as well. The things of the Spirit which I held dear were slipping away. The pain and the fear of the flesh was winning and only by struggling with my own weakness, was I able to find the Author of Faith. Jesus was there all along, waiting for me to come back to Him. He led me through the deep waters in the fight for my faith. He challenged my faith and tested my beliefs and took me through the fire. My losses were His gains! There was so much of me to lose and so much more of Him to gain. The Word, once again brought back more order into my life.
You never know where you will end up at times on a journey but one thing is for sure, you must first start. Through the process of trying to improve my prayer life, I found myself again. I made Him my own again. I made faith my own again. I built an altar in my heart for only Him. I have found the place where my hope lies and the blessings of life meant for me through Him and even more. I have found my peace. I found my voice. I found my first Love again. I found my purpose! I have been changed. Thankfully, because of Him, I am not the same person that I once was. This Easter season I intend to celebrate like never before, and live like I mean it, with new purpose and new life. He is risen!
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