My Ascend
'Although Thomas the Twin was one of the twelve disciples, he wasn’t
with the others when Jesus appeared to them. So they told him, “We have
seen the Lord!”
But Thomas said, “First, I must see the nail scars in his hands and touch them with my finger. I must put my hand where the spear went into his side. I won’t believe unless I do this!”
A week later the disciples were together again. This time, Thomas was with them. Jesus came in while the doors were still locked and stood in the middle of the group. He greeted his disciples and said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and look at my hands! Put your hand into my side. Stop doubting and have faith!”
Thomas replied, “You are my Lord and my God!”
Jesus said, “Thomas, do you have faith because you have seen me? The people who have faith in me without seeing me are the ones who are really blessed!” John 20:24-29 (CEV)
Sometimes studying scripture is like looking into a mirror. The story of Thomas reminds me of the years when I spent a lot of Sundays on the back pew. I felt the internal calling to be in His house but lacked the faith to do much about it. Often times I would sit in the back row, present physically but wasn't really with the others spiritually when the Spirit would be moving.
One Sunday, things began to change. That Sunday, I noticed them. The two ladies that would get there early and stay late. They were always front row right corner Christians. I got a glimpse of their faith right away. They were the radical ones, that seemed to always have the deepest spiritual knowledge and were the first to; pray, stand, shout, cry, or to raise their hands as the Spirit moved. They were the emotional ones, singing and praising His name at every little thing that was being said. I couldn't explain it, but I found them curious. I dismissed them at times as strange, even though I knew I was one of them, I could see that they had more and that I wanted to go in their spiritual direct.
Sitting in the back row put me at a disadvantage because I often couldn't see and really only got news of what was going on up front, often second, third or even forth hand. At that level, it was easy to be a doubter. You missed the blood, sweat and tears so to speak. I needed to ascend, but didn't know how.
One day was different, I answered an altar call. It was my first test. Yep, even with my doubts, I ventured forward with fear and nothing to lose. The testimonies of the two were convincing. The Spirit was strong, and I got my answer. There. A small victory. My first healing. It came when I saw the love scars and believed that He did that for me. My tiny mustard seed sized faith was small but He planted it in me and it was being watered and had begun to grow. My testimony was more of question as I whispered 'I am healed?' It was enough to move me up to the next row. My ascend had begun.
As my hunger for more faith grew, I kept my eyes focused and my ears opened as I watched the two. Each week I would hear and I would see and God was transforming me from Glory to Glory. About the time I made it to the center row of pews I noticed a change. My questions were turning into statements of fact, 'I am healed!' I even caught myself raising my hands in praise. At that point, I noticed that I quit looking back to those doubters in the last row. I was focused on what was being served up ahead. As my faith grew I quickly began to move forward, baby steps progressed to running even jumping and skipping over a few rows on some days. The 'seeing is believing' days were being replaced. I was becoming more and more like the two.
Though I still hunger for more of Him, He always satisfies. It is hard to explain sometimes, how He can take a crooked neck and make it straight! It's a miracle. He can do anything. Holy Spirit can do it and He will. After I hear Jesus say to me "Stop doubting and have faith!" Then I believe and say to Him 'You are my Lord and my God'. I AM HEALED! Thank You! The two moved over and made room for me. Thank you, too, for encouraging and inspiring me during my ascend. Let your faith roar!
But Thomas said, “First, I must see the nail scars in his hands and touch them with my finger. I must put my hand where the spear went into his side. I won’t believe unless I do this!”
A week later the disciples were together again. This time, Thomas was with them. Jesus came in while the doors were still locked and stood in the middle of the group. He greeted his disciples and said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and look at my hands! Put your hand into my side. Stop doubting and have faith!”
Thomas replied, “You are my Lord and my God!”
Jesus said, “Thomas, do you have faith because you have seen me? The people who have faith in me without seeing me are the ones who are really blessed!” John 20:24-29 (CEV)
Sometimes studying scripture is like looking into a mirror. The story of Thomas reminds me of the years when I spent a lot of Sundays on the back pew. I felt the internal calling to be in His house but lacked the faith to do much about it. Often times I would sit in the back row, present physically but wasn't really with the others spiritually when the Spirit would be moving.
One Sunday, things began to change. That Sunday, I noticed them. The two ladies that would get there early and stay late. They were always front row right corner Christians. I got a glimpse of their faith right away. They were the radical ones, that seemed to always have the deepest spiritual knowledge and were the first to; pray, stand, shout, cry, or to raise their hands as the Spirit moved. They were the emotional ones, singing and praising His name at every little thing that was being said. I couldn't explain it, but I found them curious. I dismissed them at times as strange, even though I knew I was one of them, I could see that they had more and that I wanted to go in their spiritual direct.
Sitting in the back row put me at a disadvantage because I often couldn't see and really only got news of what was going on up front, often second, third or even forth hand. At that level, it was easy to be a doubter. You missed the blood, sweat and tears so to speak. I needed to ascend, but didn't know how.
One day was different, I answered an altar call. It was my first test. Yep, even with my doubts, I ventured forward with fear and nothing to lose. The testimonies of the two were convincing. The Spirit was strong, and I got my answer. There. A small victory. My first healing. It came when I saw the love scars and believed that He did that for me. My tiny mustard seed sized faith was small but He planted it in me and it was being watered and had begun to grow. My testimony was more of question as I whispered 'I am healed?' It was enough to move me up to the next row. My ascend had begun.
As my hunger for more faith grew, I kept my eyes focused and my ears opened as I watched the two. Each week I would hear and I would see and God was transforming me from Glory to Glory. About the time I made it to the center row of pews I noticed a change. My questions were turning into statements of fact, 'I am healed!' I even caught myself raising my hands in praise. At that point, I noticed that I quit looking back to those doubters in the last row. I was focused on what was being served up ahead. As my faith grew I quickly began to move forward, baby steps progressed to running even jumping and skipping over a few rows on some days. The 'seeing is believing' days were being replaced. I was becoming more and more like the two.
Though I still hunger for more of Him, He always satisfies. It is hard to explain sometimes, how He can take a crooked neck and make it straight! It's a miracle. He can do anything. Holy Spirit can do it and He will. After I hear Jesus say to me "Stop doubting and have faith!" Then I believe and say to Him 'You are my Lord and my God'. I AM HEALED! Thank You! The two moved over and made room for me. Thank you, too, for encouraging and inspiring me during my ascend. Let your faith roar!
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